Highlighted Review of the Month: A Heart Full of Gratitude
There are so many lovely and touching reviews of ayahuasca retreats that wonderful human beings share with the world on this site that it’s worth highlight some of the ones that stood out the most.
So today, I bring you one by community member ‘roobisdude’, which was actually left back in October. (Original review here.)
I have participated in ceremony with Maharani Medicine several times over the past year and on all occasions, have had a really positive experience. I happened upon this circle after leaving another group with a hope of discovering a deeper connection to the medicine, with myself and the community around me. That hope has been realized and my personal path to healing has accelerated exponentially in its wake. With this community I have been able to unearth some deeply guarded traumas within myself and have been able to effectively employ the lessons that I have received. With careful and continued integration it has allowed me to receive meaningful insights and has helped me to create substantial positive momentum in my journey.
THE FACILITY:
The Lighthouse (Western NY) is a humble retreat center located on a peaceful and private tract of land that is tucked nicely into the wooded hills of Western NY. There is access to hiking trails, a pond and acres of woodlands. The property is humble, clean and has a very welcoming, woodsy and comforting feel to it. Eliana and the staff invite you into their home and treat you as such: family. The meals are communal and center around the kitchen where the everyone gathers to connect and offer their contributions to the group. Generally speaking, all of the ceremony goers share the community space for sleeping, although; I think there are a few bedrooms available for those with special needs. There are also several bathrooms, showers and laundry on premises. I don’t feel as if you need to bring a whole lot with you, however if you are visiting in the winter months (Nov-Apr) I would bring some warmer clothes so that you can enjoy the outdoors between ceremonies.
THE STAFF:
I have found all of the staff to be friendly, gentle, caring and sincere. The facilitators take great care to provide a safe, secure environment and they conduct the ceremonies with great integrity. They have a notably profound respect and reverence for the powerful plant teachers that they are offering. I also think that it is important to note that; not only are the participants, but the staff as well, are on their own path in healing, personal improvement or self-realization. I have never sensed or witnessed any one person act as if they were superior to another. It’s a community where you are allowed to be your authentic self, be vulnerable and do it without fear of judgement.
Eliana will guide you and the group on a sacred spiritual journey with her offerings of plant medicine, prayer and the experiential integration sessions outside of the ceremony itself. She has a profound connection to the spirit of the medicine and a great musical gift that will be shared with you. All of this will become quite apparent as she channels that spirit into the ceremony through prayer, Icaros, instrumentation and her beautiful healing songs. Throughout the course of your stay you will be given an opportunity to work with several healing modalities. Trust that Eliana and her facilitators are very experienced with these plant teachers and that they will have your well being as their top priority.
The facilitators that I have had the privilege of meeting are: Austin W., Austin M., Ali, Rachel, Noah, Annia and Shelby. Their calm, steady and loving presence is an invaluable contribution to the group as a whole. The gentle attentive nature of these awesome human beings paired with their careful and caring observation ensures that everyone is safe and well attended to at all times. This is an A-Team of individuals who deserve a huge amount of respect. If you have the great fortune of meeting one or many of them; I can almost guarantee you that your life will be better for it.
In the weeks and months that followed my stay at the lighthouse, Eliana and several of the facilitators have reached out to see how I was doing to offer any guidance or assistance with my integration and sometimes just to catch up or share their own experiences and growth. There is a real sense of community here. One that I have not witnessed in other circles. A community where healing is attended to as a greater part of the whole and not solely focused on the individual. This I believe speaks volumes to the the intention and integrity of Eliana and her staff.
THE MEDICINE AND ME:
In writing this review I wanted to take a close look at where I have come since my first ceremony 6 years ago. A flashback to what I was feeling as I took a huge and scary step in this direction. What were my fears, misconceptions, expectations and intentions? This review is not about me, but I’m sharing it with a hope that it resonates or brings courage to anyone out there that might need to hear it. There is a lot of hype happening around Ayahuasca and that hype can inspire false expectations or cast shades of doubt on the medicine community as a whole. There are anecdotes of self proclaimed maestro’s, unscrupulous profiteers and other negative experiences. On the contrary, there are also very experienced, well intentioned practitioners that help usher in some really positive transformations. I have been fortunate to be witness of, and a party to, a handful of those positive experiences and especially those which have happened in a Maharani Medicine Circle. I alone can not speak for the medicine absolutely, as I feel that everyone’s journey is very personal and that there can be appropriate difference or likeness in how the medicine presents itself and works on each individual. Below is the short form of my relationship with the medicine.
I started “researching” ayahuasca 3 years prior to my first ceremony. Although I had plenty of “experience” in the recreational use of entheogens; I can honestly say that I was scared of Aya and more specifically terrified of facing myself. However, I also happened to be in a very desperate situation suffering from addiction, anxiety, depression and the self destructive behavior that stemmed from years of repressed trauma and self hatred. I had survived psychological, sexual and physical abuse in my formative years, the loss of my first child, homelessness and a handful of other really difficult situations. In time the weight was too much for me to bear. It took a heavy toll on my mental health and there came a point at which I could barely survive ME. I went to the medicine in a desperate and final attempt at self preservation.
During my first ceremony I didn’t have an epiphany, some holy experience or divine moment; The medicine certainly wasn’t a panacea for all of my problems. My expectations, fears, and reservations of that particular experience were a bust. At first, I remember feeling a great sense of disappointment. What did I do wrong? Did I not drink enough? Was it that cup of coffee I had that morning? Blah, blah, blah…The medicine did, however, give me exactly what I needed at the time. No more, no less and I can only see that now in hindsight. Within a few months after that experience something changed inside of me. Some miracle happened and I was able to get sober. I started taking a healthier, more holistic approach in dealing with my traumas. I became gentler with myself. My overall mental health and well-being improved. From time to time a subtle lesson from my first experience would be revealed. I would go a few years and then the medicine would call me back. It’s hard to explain how I felt that call but it started to become louder the more I tried to resist. Some years and a handful of ceremonies later I am thriving, my family is growing and my relationship with myself and others has improved significantly. I have learned to trust the medicine, to trust the process, and to abandon my expectations or resistance. Leaning into discomfort, for me, has nurtured some of the most solid growth in my life.
ON SPIRITUALITY:
My first experience and several subsequent ceremonies outside of Maharani were not set in what I would consider to be an authentic spiritual context. I would never dismiss my prior experiences as they were important, however; something was seriously missing and it was dampening the quality of my connection. This medicine is intuitive and I trust that it will act accordingly in relation to its environment. It is my belief that the spiritual connection is where Maharani Medicine Circles stand respectfully in front of many others- The spirit shows up if you know what I mean and when I speak to spirituality; It is in a pantheistic sense. I am almost certain that a Muslim, A Jewish person, a Christian, an Atheist and a Buddhist could all sit in this circle and be comfortable. The ceremonies that I have participated in at The Lighthouse absolutely stand out in front of my other experiences. In the Maharani circles I have felt the strongest connection to the medicine, to myself, and to the divine in all. It is where I have experienced the most personal growth, the most profound truths and have witnessed a great deal of healing happening in the people around me. It is nothing short of miraculous. These experiences have taught me to place trust in myself and others after spending a lifetime of guarding my wounds from myself and from others. Most importantly, The medicine has showed me how to love myself where I didn’t think that I was worthy of it. To love myself so that I can truly and fully extend the best parts of me, not only to myself, but to those around me.
I am forever grateful for the healing and the warm, welcoming community around The Maharani Medicine Circle. I also hold a heart full of gratitude for the plant teachers showing me how to live and experience a life that I didn’t think was possible for me. I would say that if you are here, reading these reviews- You have already been called and you intuitively know where you need to be.
Aho
Is that not just beautiful?! It really warms the heart to hear of such experiences, which is why I share it with you now, in case you missed it. And my heartfelt thanks go out to the kind soul who cared enough to share these thoughts with us – you’re the best! 🙂
Until next time,
Tim G.
AyaAdvisors.org
