The Dharma, the Buddha and the Sangha and how the medicine Ayahuasca works with the three gems of the buddhist teachings. This was the focus of one of the brilliant talks that our teacher and leader Spring gave during our beautiful retreat at Lotus Vine Journeys. This is one that has served to help frame my reflections and incredible learning and growth.

The Dharma: Before each ceremony, Spring planted the seeds of one of the principles of the teachings of the buddha, loving kindness toward ourselves, other beings and our planet. The seeds that these words planted became an essential part of my healing during journeys with Aya. As the plant medicine shined her light on the areas of my subconscious that called for healing, and I gave over to grief, I reminded myself to breath love and self compassion into those spaces allowing for a comprehensive kind of healing to occur. In addition to the loving kindness teachings, were the teachings on grounding in the body, which again sustained me during the journeys. As such, I surrendered to the the felt sense of the body so the medicine could do her work. This gave way to a sense of safety, and profound healing from incredible childhood difficulties as well as unveiling some of the ways to a more equinimonous way of relating to Western culture and ways of being.

The Buddha: “I take refuge in the Buddha and the Buddha takes refuge in me”. These are the words of Thich Nhat Hahn and I think that the essence of this gem is that we are all working toward and have the capacity for awakening. During my journeys, I had many insights that led to a more awakened state of being and I carry them with me. Just the fact that I was able to see reality in a more clear way and through the window of love was such a gift. But one insight/experience stands out to me and that was when I was actually able to feel and perceive the ways that my thought patterns and the quality of those thought patterns were creating grooves in my brain. It was like, all the reading I had done about neuroplasticity and the brain (Rick Hanson’s work), I was like a scientist for a few minutes just looking in at how my thoughts were creating reality, reminding me that I had choice about the quality of my thinking and my thought patterns. This felt like a nudge toward living a more awakened life. So many more insights, this is just one.

Sangha: “The Community that lives in harmony and awareness supports our efforts toward becoming awakened beings”. From our Shamans Spring and Adreano, Hugo and Janeth, to all of the people that Lotus Vine attracted to the July 2019 retreat as well as the entire staff, this was an essential part of my healing journey. I believe it is due to the ways that the leaders create an incredible container of love and safety that they attract the most special and wonderful kinds of people to these their retreats. The community of people and how we held space for one another became a support for the medicine to work in her most profound ways. Essential to my Sangha was my partner in life. I am grateful for the compassion that we were able to show one another, and how our love and ability to see and understand one another grew through this experience. Again, the community was there every step of the way to witness and support our togetherness in this experience. Maestra Spring and Maestro Adreano, gave us such a gift through the Ikaros-I’m not even really able to put into words the beauty and nurturing from the Ikaros.

I cannot recommend Lotus Vine Journeys as a healing experience enough. But I wish to say that LVJ was a rapid and profound peek on what has been a lifelong journey of healing and learning to love myself fully. The journey does not end with the Ayahuasca. What this wise medicine did was show me the acute areas that still need attention. I will continue with meditation and therapy as I integrate back into life. I will embark upon my work toward social and political justice in my role with more equanimity so it too, can be a path toward my own healing rather than yet another avenue of neglecting myself. Thank you Aya. Thank you Spring. Thank you Maestro Adreano. Thank you Janeth, Yugo, Lotus Vine Family July 2019 and so much love and gratitude to my partner D for being in this with me and supporting me in all ways.