I made the unfortunate decision to leave this retreat early after a deeply distressing experience. It’s taken time to regulate, reflect, and make sense of what occurred. I share this not to condemn, but to offer feedback for growth, safety, and integrity.

Instead of receiving the post-ceremony integration and sacred communion I had long envisioned — sitting deeply with the spirits after a journey I had invested so much into — I’ve been left spending even more time, energy, and money trying to make sense of what happened and how to move forward. What was once a dream I held for over 15 years now feels deeply tarnished. I know the likely response from the facilitators will be: “You manifested this, it’s all for you, your experience serves your growth.” But this narrative bypasses real harm. Fighting to have my voice heard — to simply be acknowledged — is not what I came for, and it has never been the root of my healing path.

Gaslighting & Misattunement
Phrases like “I’m a Reflector, it’s all you” bypass ownership of behaviours and accountability. After sharing past trauma involving narcissistic abuse, my pain was dismissed and my ex-partner’s side was taken. This lack of attunement and empathy was retraumatising and, ironically, reflected narcissistic tendencies within the facilitators themselves — including control, invalidation, and lack of emotional accountability.

Integrity in Support: Most importantly, participants should never be gaslit or made to feel wrong for how their experience unfolds. Open, non-defensive communication is key to cultivating trust, especially in a space meant to offer safety and transformation.

Respecting Individual Process
We co-created a plan of support after I disclosed past ceremony trauma, yet this was not honoured. I clearly communicated my need for expression throughout the week, but during ceremony, I felt overpowered and my boundaries ignored. Telling someone how not to process — or demanding silence — is harmful.

Trauma-Informed Gaps
There was little awareness of nervous system states like fight/flight/freeze. In my dysregulated moment, I was threatened with police involvement rather than being offered co-regulation or space to self-soothe. As someone who has worked with trauma for over 15 years, I can confidently say this revealed a significant gap in both training and attunement.

Healing Is Not the Only Path
Not all participants are in the “healing loop.” Some are working with the medicine for activation and awakening. My intentions were clearly stated and not honoured. Please honour this by listening when participants clearly communicate their intention — and stop projecting your framework onto every journeyer. If you offer both healing and immersive retreats, be discerning and clear about your focus, and match participants accordingly.

Integration & Energetic Hygiene
There was a noticeable lack of integration support, somatic understanding, and containment. Facilitators’ personal wounds appeared to bleed into the space, along with a rigid, overly masculine approach that left little room for flexibility or softness.Energetic and emotional hygiene is vital. Personal pain, projections, or unprocessed emotions from facilitators should never enter the ceremonial space. Continued personal healing and professional supervision are necessary for anyone guiding others through vulnerable and expanded states.

Respect for Participant Experience: I found moments where my personal truth was met with resistance or subtle invalidation. I encourage the team to hold space for participants’ experiences without interjecting or assuming a “guru” role — allowing people to process in their own unique way.

Be mindful of contradiction. Dismissing emotional reactions and medicine experiences as “just ego” while simultaneously referencing synchronicity and magic creates confusion. Allow both humanity and mystery to coexist without judgment. Referring to your centre as a “cult,” while demonstrating controlling behaviours, is concerning and not in integrity with my perception of sacred work.

This experience impacted me deeply. I continue to heal with trusted support and share this with respect for the path. I hope this is received as a call to accountability and evolution — for the sake of all who walk this sacred journey.

— Chloe Allison