Some Healing Occurred, but I Left Traumatized, Destabilized and Unsafe
I attended a 12-day ayahuasca retreat at Hummingbird Healing Center as a woman traveling alone. I want to present my experience honestly and fairly: I did receive meaningful benefits from the plant medicine, and some healing occurred. My serious concerns are not about ayahuasca itself, but about the conduct of facilitator Jim Davis.
I offer this assessment from a highly informed professional perspective. I have worked as a psychotherapist and integrative shaman for approximately 38 years, with extensive experience supporting people through trauma, emotional crises, psychological vulnerability, spiritual experiences, and healing processes. I understand that difficult emotions and interpersonal challenges can arise during intensive retreat work. I also understand the level of care, restraint, compassion, and responsibility required when working with people in altered and highly vulnerable states.
Before attending the retreat, I disclosed to Jim that I had been sex trafficked during the first 12 years of my life. During a later angry confrontation, he yelled at me to “shut your mouth” twice. He then said, and I quote, “I don’t care if I’m a rapist!”
Hearing this from the person facilitating my retreat, after I had disclosed such a severe history of childhood sexual trauma, was profoundly traumatizing. Instead of calming and de-escalating the situation, he intensified it. I became extremely destabilized during an experience in which I was already psychologically vulnerable.
Based on my decades of professional experience, this was not an appropriate or trauma-informed response. A skilled facilitator should understand that aggressive language involving rape can severely affect a survivor of sexual trafficking, particularly during an intensive plant-medicine retreat. The situation could have been approached with calmness, compassion, boundaries, and respectful communication. Instead, it was escalated unnecessarily.
The following day, I told Jim directly that I felt I was in an extremely dangerous psychological place and that I needed help. He turned his back and walked away from me without saying a word.
At that moment, I was a solo female traveler at a remote jungle retreat. I felt abandoned, terrified, and completely alone after explicitly telling the primary facilitator that I was in danger and needed assistance. From both a personal and professional standpoint, walking away without evaluating the situation, communicating a plan, or arranging support was deeply concerning.
I was also unable to leave. The center took possession of my passport and cash and did not return them to me until the retreat was complete. When I asked to go into town, Jim did not allow me to leave the compound and provided no explanation.
I therefore did not have access to my identification or money and was told that I could not leave when I requested to do so. Regardless of the center’s intentions, this was my direct experience and the effect was that I felt trapped and extremely unsafe.
As a woman traveling alone in another country, being without my passport and cash while being denied permission to leave created an extreme level of fear and vulnerability. Retreat participants should retain meaningful access to their identification, money, transportation options, and ability to leave unless there is a clearly explained, voluntarily accepted, and legally appropriate arrangement.
Ayahuasca retreats place participants in exceptionally vulnerable physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual states. Facilitators must be capable of remaining calm during conflict, responding appropriately to trauma activation, recognizing destabilization, and providing compassionate support without using intimidation or coercion.
My concerns are not based on unfamiliarity with healing work or unrealistic expectations about the intensity of an ayahuasca retreat. They come from nearly four decades of professional experience helping people navigate trauma and complex psychological and spiritual processes. In my professional assessment, Jim’s behavior toward me was not trauma-informed, emotionally safe, or appropriate for someone responsible for vulnerable participants.
I am not writing this to deny that positive things also happened. Both realities can exist at the same time: I received something valuable from the medicine, and I was also seriously harmed and traumatized by the facilitator’s conduct. The positive aspects of the retreat do not erase what occurred.
Based on my direct experience, I cannot recommend Hummingbird Healing Center, particularly for solo female travelers, survivors of sexual violence or trafficking, people with complex trauma, neurodivergent participants, or anyone who may require skilled emotional support during or after a ceremony.
Before booking, prospective participants should obtain clear written answers to the following questions:
Who will retain possession of participants’ passports and money?
Can participants access their passports and money at any time?
Are participants free to leave the property when they request to do so?
What transportation is available if someone needs or chooses to leave?
What procedures are followed when a participant reports feeling psychologically unsafe or destabilized?
What trauma-informed education and crisis-response training does the primary facilitator possess?
Who provides support if the facilitator is personally involved in the conflict causing the participant’s distress?
No participant should be yelled at, repeatedly told to shut their mouth, confronted with a statement about rape after disclosing a history of childhood sexual trafficking, denied access to their passport and money, prevented from leaving without explanation, or ignored after directly stating that they are in an extremely dangerous psychological condition and need help.
I am sharing this experience so future travelers can ask informed questions, protect their autonomy, and make careful decisions before placing themselves in a vulnerable and isolated retreat environment.