I stayed at the Hummingbird Healing Center several years ago and it was an incredibly life changing experience. But I never got around to writing a review — partially because I didn’t know what to say, partially because I was traumatized. Both are remedied now and I’d like to share for those of you considering a retreat here.

First the basics: food was simple but good, rooms were spacious, land was well maintained and relaxing, there was a nice library, running water, and laundry service. The medicine man was skilled but not very available to communicate with, and did not brew his own medicine for us. He and the rest of the staff complained about not getting paid enough; I imagine there is some truth to that, but there is no transparency whatsoever about compensation so I can’t say for sure.

I say my experience was life changing because the medicine revealed incredible lessons that would eventually change the course of my life quite significantly. However, it took years for the lessons to make sense and in the meantime the confusion of it all led to a deep depression. The Hummingbird Center is not to blame for this, I simply didn’t have the tools at the time to understand the things I was shown. And I mention this because I imagine that many people seeking this sort of experience don’t have those tools either. Please, do yourself a favor and find a therapist who specializes in psychedelic integration before you attend ANY retreat center.

That said, there was very minimal support in processing the ceremonies during our time there other than some cookie cutter self-help readings that we went through as a group and a couple small sharing circles. And the energetic/emotional container held was quite damaging. You’ll see in other posts that Jim is mean, some even call him a bully; I wouldn’t go that far but I can understand how some folks experienced him that way. Ultimately, I don’t feel that Jim is a bad person (despite two staff members using those exact words which was very concerning; it was unclear whether they were referring to more than the unsatisfactory wages, as they weren’t comfortable explaining what they meant). What I can say is that he is neither empathic nor caring of your individual experience, which makes him a very poor facilitator of healing.

I will speak a bit to my own experience. Upon arriving, Jim asked us to give him our money and passport for safekeeping, so the staff couldn’t steal it. This felt fine at the time, but then I got shaken up in my second ceremony. It’s important to note that the ceremonies here were only 4 hours long; it is normal to still be feeling the effects quite strongly at that point, and although Jim does offer to sleep in the maloca if you want to finish the rest of your journey there, it can be pretty unsettling for the shaman to wrap up and leave along with many participants, and let you ride out the force of the medicine on your own with one person asleep on the other side of the room. In this particular ceremony, I hadn’t even begun to feel the effects of the medicine by the time the ceremony closed, so I went back to my room where it hit me in a delayed response. I spent the night in fear, with terrifying visions and thoughts, and was still feeling the force of the medicine the following morning.
Meanwhile, a few other participants had also had some rough experiences in their ceremonies, and we were building off of each other’s fears. We got concerned about Jim having our valuable belongings and went to ask for them back. He just laughed at us and said he’d give them back later (to his credit, he did – but not til the following day). Add to that the armed guard (in reality, a necessary protection measure that probably every retreat center has), the comment from the staff about Jim being a bad person, and the aftermath of our scary ceremonies in a remote corner of a foreign country, and the fear escalated into paranoid delusion that we were being held captive. Jim just thought this was funny and did not do much of anything to comfort us.
In retrospect, it all feels rather innocuous; we were scared of something we need not have been and we all made it home safely. But something that could have likely been fixed immediately with a warm smile and comforting conversation was instead converted to trauma due to his unempathetic nature. By the time we did get our belongings back, the damage had been done – we didn’t feel safe. And for the rest of the week Jim continued to neglect our emotional needs or treat us with care. Another short anecdote: on San Pedro day I was having a really uncomfortable experience – to the extent that I was entertaining unfamiliar thoughts of seriously harming myself – and was not hiding it. I didn’t hear a word of support or kindness from Jim, he simply suggested I take a dip in the pond. I’m very grateful to the other participants who came my support. Again, I don’t think any of his behavior was malicious. He was simply not supportive or empathic, and did not make me feel comfortable during my time there.

I’m not going to tell you not to choose the Hummingbird Healing Center. There are many extremely positive reviews here and I trust them. That could be your experience too. At the end of the day, this is a safe center on a nice piece of land where your physical needs will be taken care of. If that’s all your looking for, this is a good option. But your emotional needs may not be, and that could make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If that’s not a risk you’re willing to take, I would recommend looking elsewhere.