I attended a 7 day retreat this March and it was not my first experience with a retreat in Peru. Despite intending to go into this retreat without expectations, my previous experience was a positive one, and since I benefited greatly from it, I felt ignoring some of the inconsistences I experienced here impossible. First off there is a lovely person named Barabara that assists newcomers prior to arrival. She does an excellent job answering questions and providing helpful material via WhatsApp. This gives the initial impression of a personal guide even before arrival. But upon arrival she is nowhere to be found. I learned later that she is not at the facility and she resides in Serbia. Learning this upon arrival gives one a sense that perhaps the initial welcoming of the place was not entirely transparent.

The facilities are fantastic, each room as a bathroom and the grounds are kept clean and the staff is very welcoming. On our first day we were told we could not use the maloca, as it had a leak. Ok, the replacement sacred space is nice also and the mats are comfortable. We we had our first meal right away I was turned off. The food was salted. In the following days we were served things like mashed potatoes and gravy, pancakes, pasta, seasoned chicken and really sweet passion fruit. This goes against the dietary restrictions I very carefully followed prior to going to the retreat.

During orientation before ceremony, we were given no instruction on what do to if we needed help or were struggling with the medicine. This seemed odd to me as at my previous retreat this was an important component that came in handy for me. Herberto the curandero, was nice enough, a gentle man but one that was not really present. He would not look us in the eye and did not attend the entire ceremony. We were told that he does his work through astra projection in a special meditation room but there was no evidence of that. He often came late to ceremony and was gone before the ceremony ended. In ceremony itself the experience was odd. All kinds of medicine were offered from the worst tasting Ayahuasca I have ever had, to sacred power, to Rapi, to Sanaga and in a sperate casual like ceremony Suprise we were given Ayahuasca drops in our eyes and told to go talk to the sacred tree’s. In the day time full Ayahuasca ceremony were given whatever amount of Ayahuasca we wanted and again told to wander the jungle to visit the trees but stay on the trails. This seemed a bit reckless to me as clearly some people were experiencing the medicine profoundly and hardly knew how to navigate to the washroom and back. I felt the ayahuasca itself was not strong and I had a full cup (6-8ounce in size) almost every time. I purged and sat in silence feeling ill throughout most ceremonies. The icaros felt empty to me, not personal at all and it was usually his sister that walked around the room singing. She and the icaros is beautiful mind you, and very loving but overall I felt the spirit of Aya missing through the entire experience.

I don’t go to these retreats for the hallucinations that often accompany the medicine, nor all the visuals. Regardless none of this happened. I go for the healing, for the connection to the spirit realm and for the interconnected sense of symbiosis I experience between me and the spirits of the plants. None of this occurred. It was very disappointing and although I wish them all the best, I will not be attending this retreat in the future. To me, it felt like the inauthentic places you read about that host whatever tourists are looking for, thus they give you want ever plant medicine is most requested and as much of it as you like.