It is a spiritual violation when an authority figure persistently behaves unethically, pushing someone away from their spiritual path into darkness. This is exactly what happened to me.

Before I begin, consider that Mexisoul will ask you to leave a review or even record a testimony while you are still in a significantly altered state of mind. It might sound extreme, but they also tell you not to make any major decisions for at least two months—so leaving a biased review that might persuade a stranger to make a life-changing, potentially dangerous decision seems contradictory. People rely on reviews all the time. Wouldn’t you want those reviews to come from sober individuals?

I have attended three retreats, and this is the first time I feel compelled to leave a review—solely to keep you safe and to deter seekers like you from choosing Mexisoul. Note: it is NOT a compliment to Mexisoul that I have returned more than once. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Something isn’t working, and it’s not due to a lack of integration on my part.

I implore you to do your research thoroughly. And I mean *thoroughly.* Please educate yourself on what it truly means for someone to call themselves a shaman versus a curandero, and then compare their credentials. Secondly, research what qualifications or specialized training a psychedelic integration coach (since quit) should have to safely assist in a ceremony. Are they trained in trauma-informed care, for example? Should the general manager (since quit) of the Finca be assisting in the ceremony? More importantly, should any of the staff members (excluding the “shaman”) be under the influence during the ceremony when their role is to be of service? I actually had to tell the integration coach to please *not* take the medicine after she blurted out that she hadn’t made her decision yet. Not to mention that her reaction to bufo is so over the top dramatic- one wonders… man, she must have a lot more work to do on herself! That is insane!
Also, what would you like to imagine the resume of a Plant Medicine Retreat Director would look like?

If you take anything from this review, I sincerely hope it’s this: specifically ask if there have been any accusations of unethical behavior involving the staff, including the “shaman.” Ask when these incidents occurred and how they were handled. Request to see the written response. The last incident happened this summer, by the way, to my retreat sister, who has shared her experience publicly but her review was taken down [on a different platform]. You deserve full disclosure.
My experience was more subtle, as all of my ayahuasca journeys were grossly sexual in nature until I retreated to my room, where miraculously, they would entirely change into useful lessons. On a deeper level, what I experienced was spiritual incest due to the manipulation of the sacred relationship between the “shaman” (the patriarchal archetype) and myself, the vulnerable female participant. It is extremely personal subject to me, hence the depth of this violation. This is the most damaging and dangerous offense—the ultimate betrayal of the spiritual family dynamic, where there should be obvious, common-sense boundaries.

I have been psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually damaged. I am currently in therapy with two therapists, one of whom is specifically trained in these matters. I have also started on an antidepressant. These experiences have caused endless rumination. I now feel anger (which is not a normal emotion for me) after spending so much time, money, and enduring unnecessary suffering. I’m worse off than I was before my first retreat.

When I think about plant medicine now, I feel disgusted. I don’t know if I will ever trust another shaman or retreat center again. I truly believed these people were my spiritual family, and it is heartbreaking. Our “sagrada familia” has been severed in two, with denial and leniency favored over evidence.

Be very careful. When you hear them say, “trust the medicine,” take pause and never give up your sovereignty. If you need help, demand it. I can attest to several times when I asked for help and was denied. I witnessed this happening to others as well. Do not trust the “shaman” to know which medications are safe to take alongside these substances. We sent photos of our medications (including all ingredients) to the “shaman” for review. He gave us the green light. However, after doing my own research later, I found that some were contraindicated. On that note, is it even safe to do DMT four days in a row? Experts say no. I was never comfortable with that, so I always sat out for one of the four days.

Furthermore, the “shaman” will tell you that he takes on this role only for the ayahuasca ceremonies, not for the samadhi or bufo ceremonies. So, who is sanctifying, holding space, and protecting you? You might as well conduct your own ceremonies at home, minus the “shaman” acting as a DJ. The entire experience feels like a performance to me now.

There is a serious lack of integrity and authenticity, starting at the top and trickling down to the volunteers. I can provide many examples that reveal this.
A powerful psychedelic experience will be nothing but static unless it is grounded in firm, clear, pure, and unwavering ethical foundations that everyone believes in and practices. Sadly, this does not exist at Mexisoul.

Do not drink their well water. Be alert to the farm animals as they let them roam freely sometimes. I was tackled and thrown down to the ground by one of the horses.