As a reasonably hardcore skeptic, I was not sure that San Pedro would do anything for me. A week later and I am riding a wave of enthusiasm for life that was kicked off from an amazing experience.
I thank Steve and Sammy for providing a wonderful environment and introducing me to a powerful natural tool to explore an alternative past, present or future. One that allows you to test situations and emotions that you may not be able to experience in everyday life. During the day I explored love, sadness, arrogance, helplessness and anger. I will hold on that love. For people in my life, humour, playfulness and the absurd.
As bizarre as it is to travel halfway round the world and decide on a whim to bus two days to Steves hacienda to take a powerful hallucinogenic medicine I know very little about. I am very glad that I did it and have ended up writing many pages on the experience so I can refer to the lessons later.
Of course everyone’s experience will be completely different and I went through many different scenes during the day but here’s a small except part of it:
Squigley the medicine dog bought me to the hammock seat nestled in the trees bordering the property. As soon as I sat down I looked up the valley, but it was not just a valley. On one side was the jungle, on the other side was an African savannah. Both sides in a chaotic war against each other. Elephants vs tigers, gorillas vs lions, monkeys and rhinos all charging into one another in a survival of the fittest. I actually shed a tear at the simultaneous beauty and destruction that somehow felt natural and necessary in the grand scheme of things.
But what was my part in it. Fatty Bears (another visitor to the retreat) words repeated in my mind. You are a warrior. But does that mean I’m doomed to compete in the valley of chaos? I ran my fingers over the ropes of the hammock seat. The vibrations seemed so slow I could hear each individual wave. i could feel the power of those vibrations, and was able to harness them.
I gripped the each side of the seat. The white ropes became my wings. Looking down my legs were bowed and clawed. I was now a great white eagle capable of soaring high over the battlefield. Feelings of both power and relief were washing over me as I realized that life is inevitable creative destruction, but you can choose to observe, to rise above if needed. I had done my time in the trenches of life. There was now nothing to fear up here in this eagles nest. Watch on, enjoy the scars you have gained, and pay no mind to those that want to drag you back into the chaos. Lesson one complete.