Dreamglade

I’m utterly torn on how to approach this review, but I’ve ultimately been moved to post here to try to help my fellow seekers. If anyone does a search for reviews of Dreamglade, you currently won’t find a single bad or even mediocre review. Nothing but glowing perfection. But since I read every one of those glowing reviews and then had an experience that didn’t match up, I feel like I owe it to the community to be the first to say something.

First, let me point out that the place was operated for well over a decade by other folks (both in terms of ownership and long-term, well-beloved staff). So most reviews you are seeing (particularly on this site) are referring to a different experience. New owners Wade and Clarissa took over the place this summer. And a month or so after they did, the long-term well-beloved staff that had intended to stay on departed as well–which should tell you something. (I note here that I have zero issues with the current staff. They seem like lovely people, particularly the yoga/breathwork person. But they’re both super new and it honestly won’t surprise me to see them move on fairly quickly as well. I predict with Wade’s temperament that there is going to be frequent staff turnover.)

In my opinion, Wade, the current owner (and main facilitator of the ceremonies) is well-intentioned. I think he believes that he is acting in people’s best interests. However the way in which he goes about his work is really in need of improvement. The signs were subtle at first, like disparaging comments made about the former retreat owner. Then it was insults about the former retreat staff. Then I noticed rude comments made about former retreat participants. Then came judgey comments made about a current retreat participant or a current staff member’s behavior. All within easy earshot of several other guests. Highly unprofessional to say the least. For some reason this didn’t seem to bother some people–I think some of the guests felt like Wade was treating them like an insider by openly bad-mouthing others. Or maybe they were just relieved they weren’t the subject of the comments. But it really turned me off from what is supposed to be a loving, healing environment.

Then, during “share circle” (which occurs the morning after each ceremony in which each participant is encouraged to share aloud what happened the night before–a conversation that frequently involves providing very intimate details about one’s life), I noticed how Wade could be really rough on some people. It wasn’t clear at all what would set him off, but most days, someone would step on one of his emotional landmines. Maybe they would mention a diagnosis or medical/emotional condition they are dealing with–to which Wade would ridicule the person and their condition, telling them that it doesn’t exist and explaining that the person’s challenges were just consequences of someone’s weakness or cowardly approach to life or uncontrolled ego. While I’m guessing a large number of people who sit with Aya are people who have a pretty integrative view on mental/emotional/physical health issues and understand there definitely is a mind-body-connection, Wade’s insistence that microbes and viruses and cancer “absolutely don’t exist”–particularly when hurled at you in an insulting tone hours after a mind-altering experience–really go beyond his expertise and frankly needs to stop immediately.

Sometimes Wade would get pissy because he didn’t think someone was “trying hard enough” to “get real.” Or sometimes he’d seem angry because people weren’t “healing” enough for his liking. Sometimes he decided to tell someone (aggressively) that they were completely wrong in their interpretations of their own visual or emotional experiences. It honestly didn’t seem to make sense who got what treatment but more times than not, at least one person every day would get the heavy stick of Wade’s disfavor. There were multiple times where I couldn’t believe people weren’t just walking out on him with the way he was treating them. I’m guessing if it weren’t for the fact that people are stuck in the absolute middle of nowhere with no practical way of leaving, they would. When I raised this behavior with some of my fellow guests some folks just said “well maybe that person really needs some tough love.” I guess I’m an outlier than I don’t feel that yelling at someone or demeaning them should be equated with love, but even if “tough love” is somehow a legitimate thing, I don’t believe anyone should be subjected to it without first consenting to be treated that way.

Also, if for some reason you do not wish to participate in an ayahuasca ceremony during your stay, it doesn’t appear that you are allowed to sit it out. While I was there I witnessed someone who felt called not to drink one night and honestly they were harassed/emotionally coerced by Wade and the rest of the retreat staff until they agreed to do it. And there didn’t seem to be any kind of practical reason for it (the person wasn’t asking for their money back and they were willing to sit in the ceremony with the others or sit out–whatever the facilitators wanted). Wade just thought that person “needed the medicine” and set out on a campaign to emotionally coerce the person into not exercising their own free will. That’s just not ok. Sadly, in my opinion, Dreamglade just isn’t a place that seems to value a person’s own intuition or own decision-making while they embark on a deeply personal spiritual journey. Instead, Wade is there to tell you what to do, what to think, how to feel, and to be the ultimate judge of your soul’s journey.

Anyway, in sum, I’m willing to say that I do believe Wade really wants to help people, but his approach is overly controlling and seems very tied in to his own ego and his way of dealing with guests can be, at times, rude, demeaning, and aggressive. Quite the opposite of how I believe someone in his position who is dealing with highly vulnerable people in a heightened emotional setting should be behaving. So buyer beware–if you’re into the so-called “tough love” approach than this retreat will totally be your cup of tea. If you don’t like that approach (hello C-PTSD and/or trauma survivors), you might seriously want to avoid Wade. I think he’d actively agree with the statement that he isn’t trying to “create a safe space” at his retreat center. For me, I found that the medicine itself was enough of a disrupting energy that could bring people to places of deep emotional unrest or discomfort. I wasn’t looking for other humans to pile on to that. And I really wasn’t ok with watching people be … well, frankly, kind of emotionally abused. And let me say in my own defense before you make assumptions of me: I have never ever in my life been called a “snowflake” or had people accuse me of being overly sensitive. I work in a very tough environment professionally. And I’ve been through some really harrowing shit personally with a square jaw. So I hope you don’t discount my comments as being from someone who is “fragile” who needs an overly soft-handed approach. Being in the hot-assed jungle with essentially no electricity and barely eating while you work on shifting years of spiritual gunk isn’t for the weak. And I didn’t show up there expecting to be coddled or comfortable.

So how am I giving it a 2 star review when so far it’s a 0 star review? Well first I recognize that we are all very different. And I saw some of my fellow guests not be bothered by Wade’s approach. (And let’s be honest, the guy isn’t always behaving inappropriately. Sometimes he’s funny, personable, and caring!) I witnessed some of my fellow participants receive real legitimate healing while they were there and that matters to me. Also, Dreamglade is one of the most economically priced options out there. So if an occasionally abrasive egotistical facilitator isn’t going to bother you, then this place is pretty good.

But mostly I couldn’t give a zero star review because Dreamglade has two incredible healers/shaman/curanderos. These people are truly special. Their guidance and protection during the ayahuasca ceremonies, and their attention to you outside of ceremonies, is incredible. Anyone who is lucky enough to spend time in their presence is blessed. They are the reason why I have agonized writing this review because I don’t want to say anything that might have negative consequences to them. But ultimately after a period of reflection, I also felt like I needed to break the odd digital silence on what’s going on at Dreamglade under the new owner. I know for a fact I’m not the only one who was concerned about Wade’s behavior. I can only hope that some of my fellow concerned attendees will start posting about their experiences as well. If enough people speak up, it might help encourage him to rethink his approach. And even if not, at least you can be warned in advance so you can be emotionally prepared for it.

In case it’s helpful, here are a few other quick notes about the retreat’s offerings…

KAMBO: Wade dispenses kambo on the weekends in a truly reckless manner that’s going to end him up in trouble some day. He doesn’t ask anyone any pertinent medical questions nor gives much by way of info that people should have about medical contraindications. Kambo is a beautiful medicine for many but it really should be given by someone who is paying attention to the details. And he’s definitely not ensuring that people are properly hydrated and/or not over-hydrated so some people were having rough reactions to it because of poor prep. So if you are interested in that, please do yourself a favor and thoroughly educate yourself before you come as to 1.) whether you should be doing it and 2.) what the appropriate prep for the ceremony is.

PLANT BATHS: What they have is nice but it’s just one type–stored in a large garbage can so you can self-serve near the algae-filled pond (which I’m not entirely convinced is safe to swim in).

INTEGRATION: Eh… other than the “share circle” after each ceremony, during which you may or may not be ridiculed or told how wrong you are about your reflections on your own experience, there is no integration. Other retreats offer follow-up integration services. They do put everyone who visits Dreamglade each month in a What’s App group (which frankly is kind of annoying since that means you’re stuck getting messages from dozens and dozens of people you never met) and I suppose they’d say you could reach out in that forum for integration that way but um… that’s not integration work. It’s just a venue to share vacation pics with fellow participants.

LAUNDRY SERVICE: I honestly have zero idea why they include this on the website. They have a water pump, a bucket, and a clothes line to offer you. There is no “service.” I mean that’s fine, I can certainly hand-wash my own laundry. It’s just from the way it was described, I was expecting something else. And depending on the weather, your clothes might not dry–either because it’s raining or because it’s too humid. I wish I hadn’t relied on the idea of a “laundry service” and just brought enough clothes to get through my time there.

ACCOMMODATIONS: The nicest tambo is honestly the newest one, which is the shared one. The private ones are mostly falling into disrepair, overrun with outdoor pests, and can only be accessed by walking longer distances over rickety wood paths that shift under your feet and are highways for bullet ants (yikes!) So honestly I’d recommend the shared tambo, which is closest to the ceremonial space. (I actually recommend sleeping in the ceremonial space above all else but you can’t leave your personal items in there.) Look, you get what you pay for. Do not expect anything but the barest accommodations and expect items like mattresses, pillows, mosquito netting, etc to be … um…. not nice (old, stained, stinky, and very uncomfortable). So if you care about sleeping well and have the space, you might actually want to bring your own pillow at least. But hey, that’s why they aren’t charging you more so no complaints here. You get one set of sheets and one towel. Thankfully there are a few flushing toilets on the property (near the dining hall and the ceremony space). And the staff did a terrific job at ensuring that the 2 outdoor showers the guests shared were cleaned multiple times a day, for which I was deeply appreciative. (Just be prepared to have the plastic sheet open with the wind and have you flash whoever is hanging around.) FYI: Most people brought eyeshades (to help them sleep past sunrise) and ear plugs (to help block out the cacophony of jungle frogs). You definitely want to bring sunscreen and you might want to bring some natural bug repellent although the bugs aren’t completely awful there.

PLANT DIETAS: The plant dietas are legitimate and are a great offering here for a very modest reasonable extra fee. You should definitely partake!

SAUNA: It’s ridiculously hot. And I’m not sure a Western medical doctor would encourage you to do given the physical conditions you’re already under in already hot/humid conditions while you’re likely already dehydrated from purging from every orifice of your body, but it was pretty great. 🙂

JUNGLE WALKS: Skip ’em and don’t bother bringing rubber boots or hiking shoes for it. You won’t see anything interesting and if you’re already struggling from heat and humidity there’s no point in making it worse. You’ll see more wildlife if you pack a pair of binoculars (or borrow the pair from the library) and sit at the pond and look in the trees surrounding the trees. Cute little monkeys, toucans and lots of other birds, stunning butterflies, tons of frogs. And yes, plenty of snakes. But there isn’t much point in going on the one semi-lame jungle walk that is offered, although it is likely the only exercise you’ll get there.

COMMUNICATION: The person who responds to their emails, Paul, is a great resource. If you’re planning on going on other adventures while in Peru (esp. if you’re looking for other types of shamanic ceremonies in particular), just ask him. He’s great.

HANDICRAFTS: The two Shipibo healers have embroidered stunning tapestries and mantas, hand-made jewelry, and some clothing for sale at the retreat so try not to buy too much of that stuff in Iquitos before you arrive.

Note: This review was edited for over-capitalization, but has otherwise been left in its original form.